In my previous post, I stated that despite writing for the James Randi Educational Foundation, I would be posting here on a more frequent basis than before.There was no reason for anyone to believe that – especially you. How often have I written a post about how I’ll be writing more? I don’t know because I forget this drivel as soon as it’s posted, but it’s probably frequent.

I may be the lying sack of animal nuggets, but all of you are my enablers. I can’t quite figure out how to turn that last sentence into a sex joke, but I really want to.

Well, in the three and a half months that have passed I have been able to get precisely three damn posts onto the JREF site and have decided to renew my efforts here while I see if they have any continued interest in me making fun of people for an audience of folks who (admirably, of course) will nickel and dime and nitpick the shit out of you as a frikkin’ hobby.

There’s nothing wrong with that, and the sentiment behind it – making people responsible for their statements – is big with me. Having said that, a few of these folks are wearing hats that are much too small for their heads sadly causing the center of their brain that detects humor to be squished like Christina Hendricks’ boobs at the Golden Globes.

Double entendre! Ha!

I’m not talking about people who don’t think that I’m funny since that is the club with the most people in the world in it – I’m talking about people who did not know that I was trying. I’m not going to go back and argue the point in each comment because there are a few hundred of them and to do so would be pitiful beyond measuring, but allow me to cite you one example:

I was lampooning evangelical Mega Pastor Rick Warren. In so doing, I explained that as a ‘mega’ pastor, Rick Warren could join with any four of his colleagues and form Voltron.

I know, huge laughs – where’s my Pulitzer? One guy (in the comments) got the joke and another twenty lamented that such ad hominem attacks had no place within the hallowed halls of the JREF. These halls share the internet with Two Girls One Cup, so there’s that too. There’s not exactly a Lucasian Chair to protect…

Sincerely though, I do believe that fundamentalists pose no greater threat to secular society than their capacity to hand out annoying Jesus literature in the form of a giant robot.

Here I have the self-indulgent privilege about writing however I want about whatever I want. If I wish to spend my eight hundred words belittling the Internet for lusting after sultry TV chefs or complaining about David Hume, then that is what I write and you can either read it or get the hell off my porch – I don’t care. Sometimes, people would leave comments and lie about how they liked my writing, or alternatively that I was a big, stupid faced man whose head was made of egg shell and wookie poop.

Either way, it was footloose and fancy free…the salad days of my Internet.

Now, I have an editor and he has the onerous task of making me not suck. I’m not going to make a joke here, but do a Google search for Sisyphean and see what turns up. In any event, between their need to put up real material about the important work of spotlighting the bull shitters and my compulsion to not write what they want, the growing pains have been pronounced.

I want to be clear, I have not been injured and the folks at JREF are doing nothing wrong – quite the opposite in fact as they try to vary their content and open up a very good resource to more people. The problem is that they are doing it to a website that previously considered a joke to be “suffice it to say, I will not hold my breath!” after daring a lying weasel of a psychic to come and be tested in the Million Dollar Challenge.

Woe is us.

Then, to top it all off (well, not all of it – I am a married man) I return here to find that my previous syndication pimp, the great and terrible Rob “United Nations Dangerous Goods Number 1202” Kroese has gotten out of the business after writing a book that is no less terrific for the fact that I have no intention of reading it.

Seriously, he’s good people; buy Mercury Falls.

But I am now without an Internet distributor who brings me traffic and tells me nice things. What am I supposed to do to get readers, actually work at this dreck?

There’s got to be another option…

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